Concerned Mom Got the pre-school blues, I can't offer any advice on how to make this transition easier for your son, but I can assure you that your attachment parenting style is NOT causing his difficulty! On the one hand, your son's difficult transition could be totally normal & he may eventually wind up doing well & loving the place. We hope the extra time at home has enabled him to grow at his own pace, and that he'll be ready to deal with the challenges of school. For the child. Are you feeling guilty/ mixed emotions about the decision to start school? This is the first time that she has been away from home with someone besides me caring for her because I recently went back to work. Mostly, he's playing by himself and observing other people. I am at a total loss as to what to do. Do you have any friends with kids his age? He said, '' mama, it's ok. If so, I think it's just a question of getting used to the school, and the process of being dropped off, but picked up later. , but quickly grew to love it. The good news is that it does get better; patience and consistency really will pay off. My old care provider actually gave me some of the best advice. When it is time to say goodbye (the teacher should be at your side) do so and go! So every morning I told him that I will pick him up after lunch. My daughter started preschool last summer at 2 1/2 after 2 years with a nanny. My daughter just started preschool. Such as a blanket (that smells like home), toy, lovey, Bouncy seat. Rather than complaining about your son's crying, the teacher and the aide should be looking into reasons as to why he is doing it and working with you to help figure out a solution. She screams like crazy when we drop her off, but she is fine the rest of the day. Is he worried about getting attached to a new place only to lose it again? At that time, we enrolled him in a wonderful pre- school we thought he'd adore! I'm not sure) and said to me, ''Mom, I have a cough, I can't go to school today'' (is he ferris bueller?!). I do not think there is going to be any long lasting affect on him from this early experience; however, I am concerned that he is not really adjusting so well yet after one month. I do not believe that this ignorance of infant needs is not intentional and is not to hurt or neglect the . The Scholastic website suggests leaving a T-shirt or handkerchief with your smell on it. I see she didn't eat, but WHY didn't she eat. Also, three-year olds tend to be extremely particular about their environment, routines, etc. Learn how your comment data is processed. So the key is to find a school where the teachers are willing to cuddle an anxious child all morning and where the school day is busy enough that the child doesn't have downtime to remember his/her anxiety. I am mainly writing to express my sympathy. What changed for my situation was a combination of things: I did the bribing, I did the timed warnings, I did the threats and pleading. Unless it is that chuild's 20 minute increment to be fed or 5 min increment for a diaper change, the child is accounted for and generally kept safe. We were more concerned about establishing negative early memories of ''school.'' We and her nanny talked about it for several months before it happened. See group details. If he is withholding and avoiding going number 2 this would make him uncomfortable when he eats and it made my son very whiny and generally miserable. While some changes, like moving to a new house, can be inevitable (perhaps this is even the reason for the new daycare), try not to add more stressors to your childs life while theyre adjusting to their new routine at daycare. For more information, please see our You want to try to convey, with your words, your body, your tone, your expression, that you know he can handle school, that his teachers will be loving and keep him safe, and that, while you realize this is challenging, you are confident that he will be okay and have fun and get to do cool stuff. Good luck! It was a small Reggio-inspired preschoolin Los Altos where kids were allowed to get dirty and make mistakes freely. What worked for us was having our nanny take her to preschool, since my daughter separated from her much easier than from me. However, keep in mind that things could change. Some kids are more outgoing, others quieter. That is a lot for a ten-year-old to deal with, much less a two-year-old! However, it sounds like you're saying he continues to be tearful throughout the morning. My husband and I really like the Montessori method and feel that our son is capable of this type of setting, however, emotionally (at this stage) I am wondering if it is ''too much'' for him or if I really need to just go with the flow here. I've done childcare for 20+ years and I speak from experience, children do calm in time. I can tell you that every situation is different and just getting ideas from others was a huge relief (especially the posts that stated that they too had similar challenges!) Has anyone else had a child like this who eventually adjusted and was fine? Sorry in advance for the length of this, but I very much need help. I do not know if because of his cousin goes to school and he wants to be like her (he's looking up to her), or it was just the break from school for a week that enabled him to see the whole situation in perspective. In other words, since your son really liked his first daycare, you have a basis of comparison. It seems like we're expecting a lot of these tiny people; to feel comfortable in a new,unfamiliar environment with strangers and to bond to their new caregivers without the reassurance of someone they trust that it is safe. You can also include pictures of your toddlers morning routine at home, to help him overcome the anxiety that builds before you leave the house. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. So my friend's son kind of falls in the crack, too old for diaper (meaning time to time attention from the teacher) but not old enough to wipe his own (common, he's not even 3). Although the experiences tend to be difficult, he makes big strides the next day (e.g. Is he potty trained and is he willing to use the bathrooms at school for everything? He behaves pretty well at home, especially one on one. worried mom, If it's any consolation, I think what you're describing sounds still within the realm of normal and age-appropriate. I know with our kid, he was old enough to be done with naps,but was still required to "rest" for 90 minutes every afternoon at school, which only made him more stir-crazy. With the help of your childs teacher, snap pictures of your childs daily schedule and create a mini-picture album. She reminded me that young children are VERY intuitive and pick up on our thoughts and feelings, more than our words. All kids are adjusting well (with some tears here and there) except my little one. This turned out to be a problem (I think) for my child. Some take weeks, others days, some a month or more. We misunderstood the school's claim that it was ''developmental'' as being synonymous with ''play-based.'' One teacher suggested moving her from the three year olds class to a group of ''almost threes.'' I would sit with him in circle time. I moved on and withdrew my child and found a new daycare. When we visited we met his teacher and liked her very muchShe was very kind and my kid was showing great progress in the 2nd week itself.But when i went to drop him at school the 3rd week the director told me that his teacher had quit the job and there was another teacher for his class. Also consider what kind of preschool you selected. The first week was great, she loved her teacher, and still talks a lot about her very positively. 3.5 seems old enough to be able to handle a full day if the emotional stuff can be dealt with but the difference between a 4pm pick up and a 5:30 or 6pm one can be huge in terms of how much time you'll have to connect at home after, Hope any of the above help, good luck! I am sorry your son is struggling with school. It seemed hard for the children and teachers to bond. There was only about 30 minutes of playtime each day. Her son never cried and felt very comfortableso did I. No lingering, no final waves goodbye. Why wasn't it ''hard to wait'' at the old place? For some kids, that first good-bye to mom or dad in the morning can be really, really hard, but then they arae okay as the day goes on. And this was consistent with many of his peers at other schools, too, where the children adjusted to the novelty at first but then cried for mommy. Are the hours different at this school than at the daycare? The third time I left him, he cried for maybe 2 minutes after I left and then was fine for the rest of the day. Be sure to tell them about your past experience. She spends most of her time at home with us (and I WFH). Its no different for children with a new school routine. I would also give him more time. One of them had a teacher change right away as well, so that didn't help either. Anon. In the first few days when the child is settling in,the child can have their special item as often as they want or need it. He was then given construction paper to play with with not much additionalattention. But you may also find that your feelings are rooted in generic concern for a little guy in transition. Can we get some advice as all is welcomed. Several mornings at dropoff he has not cried. While 3 year old crying at the good bye time is very common and normal, I am concerned about the lack of caring from teachers. Just tell her you are leaving in 5 minutes, give her some kind of count down or two minute warning, and then when time is up, leave. This has required spending more money on a nanny for some days and changing our work schedules for other days. that we had made the right choice. As in your case,I grew tired of hearing her tell me ''I don't want to go to preschool'' and figured it was just a slow transition thing. I leave as quickly as possible at dropoff. If you think it is the place, and not your child's completely understandable hesitance to spend so much time with strangers, then make a change. Needless to say, my daughter is no longer at this school, but the point I'm making is that my daughter's objections were based on something that was really wrong--not just transition problems. What I did about school was decide that I was going to be strong about it myself. Last but not least, toddler daycare is a lifesaver for many parents that cannot be with their children throughout the day due to unavoidable commitments such as work. What can I do and what can I ask the teacher to do to help him? Now we wave at the window, I had enrolled my 2-and-a-half year old in a two's program for the 2013-2014 year, but had to withdraw him from the program due to separation anxiety issues that surfaced about 4 weeks into the program.
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